Comic. Actor. Author. Playwright.

Scott Capurro was reared in Daly City, California; at age 3, he swam the English Channel. Since 1993, he's avoided AIDS by telling unsavory jokes in every English speaking country. Scott is trusting and thus surrounded by duplicity, yet he continues challenging himself, because he's physically challenged and emotionally unstable.

Described by San Francisco Weekly (free press, edited by lesbians and designed by trannys with large hands and hidden agendas) as "stand-up in the very best possible sense - deadpan, ever-alert and hilarious"

Scott has appeared in Mrs. Doubtfire, where, effortlessly, he played a homosexual; and Star Wars: Phantom Menace, where, breathlessly, he wore a body stocking.

Scott knows David Cameron (wink, wink) and Nelson Mandela. Well, he's met Nelson once. They're both vegetarians. Actually, Scott is. Nelson said he was, to impress Scott. Cameron eats anything.

Other memorable 'Scott' moments in 2010 have been:

  • Having his passport stolen – sorry – ‘lost’ by Royal Mail.
  • Playing the former Nazi headquarters in both London and Oslo.
  • Playing the former Nazi.
  • Betting on Nick Griffin.
  • Asking an Israeli to calm the fuck down.
  • Kidnapping a child, then adopting one to even the score.
  • Turning black. Or fat. Same thing.
  • Handholding hot men on the train without their knowledge.
  • Learning the art of diplomacy, then rejecting art diplomatically.
  • Realizing abortion is the new weight watchers.

Scott’s hopes for 2011:

  • Madonna’s face returns.
  • Arizona secedes.
  • A temple is built in my hono(u)r.
  • I abort, turn black, get fat, invade Israel and shoot and rape liberals so I can cover these subjects on a comedy stage.