Comic. Actor. Author. Playwright.

Scott Capurro was reared in Daly City, California; at age 3, he swam the English Channel; and since 1993, he's told unsavory jokes in every English speaking country, so he's surrounded by duplicity. Yet he keeps challenging himself, because he's physically challenged and emotionally unavailable. Described by San Francisco Weekly (free press, run by lesbians and trannys with large hands) as "stand-up in the very best possible sense - deadpan, ever-alert and hilarious", Scott has appeared in Mrs. Doubtfire, where, effortlessly, he played a homosexual; and Star Wars; Phantom Menace, where, breathlessly, he wore rubber.

Scott knows Jimmy Carter and Nelson Mandela. Well, he's met Nelson once. They're both vegetarians. Actually, Nelson is. Scott said he was, to impress Nelson.

Other memorable 'Scott' moments in 2007:

  1. Having all his TV ideas rejected
  2. Threatening locals at arts centres in various towns and villages in the UK.
  3. Jacking off over Rosie O’Donnell.
  4. Getting scabies. Again.
  5. Treating scabies…like old friends.
  6. Killing his ambitions.
  7. Killing at the Frog and Bucket in Manchester.
  8. Handholding Hank Azaria on Emmy night.
  9. Learning the art of diplomacy.
  10. Torturing Canadians.