About me. And I mean, all about me me me me me me me. Oh, and can I borrow your phone? I’ve got ‘me’ calls to make. Thanks…”Hi me. It’s me. Me me me me me me me meow me meow meow me meow…”
Background check: Scott admires Scotland so much he named the country after his great uncle, Randolph Scott. Sadly Randolph never stuck, so the locals, over their pints, characteristically chose the briefest and easiest way out.
Since then, in a faerie land where English is ne’er spoken, Scott has pushed his mother tongue, and, in 1994, he miraculously won the Perrier Award with his magical show Risk Gay, an installation/performance piece chronicling the power of wind, where Scott mimed a glittering chime.
Between reading the Koran and mocking the Bible, Scott has developed an eye twitch while chasing gay sheep around Montana, where male-on-male action is limited to animal pens. I know. HOT! The result, The Truth About Gay Animals, has been an internationally televised hit, having played Israel and, consequently, resulting in death threats.
Scott has written for several newspapers, including The Guardian, The London Times and the Scotsman; and for various magazines, like The Index on Censorship, which isn’t half as stuffy as it sounds. Kidding. It actually is. AND he currently has a monthly column in Gay Times, a British glossy that hired him because he’s – you guessed it – ghettoized.
His book, Fowl Play, a comedy novel about murder and date rape, received good reviews and it is out of print. Currently, he’s working on a second novel about the making of a Broadway musical, entitled Runt. And there’s a third novel, Loaded, based on his play about his correspondence with killer Erik Menendez, which the English press called ‘sick and dangerous’.
Wait, it gets better: He’s on all sorts of British television programs, most of which are too embarrassing to mention, although 8 Out of Ten Cats is a hit, even when he’s a guest. His stand up CD, some of which is included in this web site, was released in the UK, his second home, to enormous fanfare, and very limited sales. He did a play about gays. Currently he’s hosting a live chat show in London, letting his famous friends do all the work.
And he’s always touring, and being asked to tone it down in places like Manchester. Manchester for fuck sake, where clearly he’s not the problem. Still he perseveres, mainly out of a craving for attention and food.
Obviously, Scott is too busy to date. So he lives on friends’ couches. If you wanna call his a ‘life’. Or a lawn chair a ‘couch’.